A Simple Wish

It’s been 2 months that I’m away. Sorry things got a bit bumpy, messy even.

How I wish I could turn back time, to know the cost of my foolishness. Being away from you clouded my vision, made me lose sight of what is important, made me almost walk a path of destruction, where there’s no return.

But thank you, for being there as soon as I’m home. Looking at you froze at the sight of me, I knew I’m away for too long. You no longer recognise me, who previously you will laugh when I’m near you, and reach for me whenever you want to. It tore my heart apart, when I know I have to repeat the process of allowing you to know me again.

U grew up so quickly. It was only 2 months ago we would be worried that u will trip when u crawl, or needed our help to stand or climb up or down a ledge. Now u move with ease, reaching heights that I remember you couldn’t.

It took you 4 days to know me again, and give me the pleasure of holding you in my arms. Still my heart is heavy, knowing that I will leave you again at day 6, because of my job.

“You have to make sacrifices now, boy, for the sake of your family,” my dad said when I’m alone with him in his car, after I left you for my job, again.

Looking back, maybe I was not clear to myself what it means to be a father to you, but I sure hope I can do better in the future, your future. Now, I just wish to be there, more than anything.

Sorry, just a while more. I will be there soon, I promise.