It has been awhile since the last post. I’ve been busy, really busy. Switching from being a clinician in the health ministry to being an academician in the education line does has its challenges. Compared to the routine of managing healthcare, now I have to think about how to teach, how to generate new knowledge, how to treat patients, and more recently, how to run a department the new place entrusted me to take care of. To ensure the progression, I have enrolled in Master research study, hoping to one day secure my own PhD, and constantly looking for opportunity to engage with other academicians to learn their ways of bringing in new knowledge and innovations, in order to contribute to mine. I’ve lost count of how many proposals I wrote for the past 6 months. Of course, those are on top of the constant worry of myself able to be a good father, a good leader for my small family.
Sleepless nights, exhausted to the soul. It feels as if I’m back to my psychiatry training days, with more responsibility and uncertainties. I guess I just couldn’t help myself huh? To always look for ways to get out of my comfort zone.
Jun Cheng my boy, I’m sorry for the delay. You came into our lives in April 15th 2024, yet I was not able to sit down and give u this post. Here you go, here’s what your name is about:
“承于天，立于地，使于命，就于人，
能者包容万象，俊杰胸怀天下。“
“Bestowed by the heavens, stand firm on your feet, proceed with your destiny, and succeed with your being.
The abled accepts all, the fine pursues for the world.”
You came into this world without much of an ordeal. Your mom didn’t even have to stay long in the hospital. Probably because she has gotten better at the task or we chose to pay for everything this time, got a consultant doctor for you who is the best in her art. You are strong, fast, fearless, and cute. Never gotten sick, always laughing at us, and cries in a way that sounds almost like a roar when you are yearning for our attention or hungry. I’m sure you will be someone incredible in the future.
Now, let me tell you and your brother something about this world you came into. I have started teaching, and students have come for me for advice, psychiatry or life lessons alike, but I would have you two understand in detail, about how your father, me, view the world. You may develop a different perception as you grow up, or maybe even myself might change as I grow older, but I hope you would understand a few important points, so that you will not wander and wasted your talents and potential, in this wonderful world I live in, where I found full of possibilities.
First off, your mother and I love you with all our hearts. Should you find yourself difficult to move on, or lonely, or need to feel the warmth of a home, we will be there for you. Don’t get me wrong, I said the world is wonderful, but not without its own challenges and hardships. As your father, I will subject you to those, to experience, learn, adapt, and excel in the way you see fit. We will not be able to accompany you through your whole life, because you will soon be busy with your own life, and we will grow so old that we might not recognise you anymore. So in a way, we hope that you will continue to survive, weaving through the obstacles, while enjoy your life even without us. To do that, you will need to learn, and the best way to learn, is always out of your comfort zone. Remember this my boys, those who don’t learn in time, might never get the chance to, and will not be able to handle the situation when it hits hard.
When you got tired of learning and climbing the stairs of life, just come home. Me and your mom will be here. After a nice meal and rest, I will chase you out, to have you continue your journey of what we call life.
Second, just so happens that you two are boys. You will become men, of your family, your job, and most importantly, your word. I may not know how to raise a daughter, but I can assure you two I know how to train a man. Being a son of your grandfather of a soldier, and a grandson of your incredible great-grandfather, who both went through greatest and lowest a life can offer, I have written some of my own stories of manhood to tell you as you grow up. Now may be too early for you to know those so I’ll save them when you are ready. The gross idea is this: as a man, your life is not only your own. You will need to one day subject yourself to the needs of those around you, be it your family, your colleagues, your bosses, and the best yet, your own passion and belief. A man’s worth is always about how much he can shoulder, not talk. You will hear a lot of successful stories of others, but if you really pay attention to them, for your own learning purpose, its never about how ‘high’ their achievement is, it’s always about how ‘low’ they got before the success. So, talk less my sons, do more, subject yourself to challenges, chase the opportunities. Listen to the world, so you can know what you can do for its betterment. Your worth is never determined by yourself, but those around you. So accept them, be kind to them, while always improve yourself. Don’t waste your time to keep on tell others about how you did it. They have their own life to figure out their own methods. There’s no need to be the reason for them to blame you if it didn’t work for them as it did you.
Again, if you got tired of being a man, just come home and be our son for a while. After a nice meal and rest, I will chase you out again, for you to continue to prove yourself a man.
Lastly, be humble. You will meet someone great, greater than yourself, your father, even your imagination. Judge their greatness not by their wealth, not by their appearance, not by their fame, but their contributions. Your teachers will be one of them, because they taught you and gave you knowledge. The street cleaners, sewage workers, and rubbish collectors are one of them, because they keep your living space nice and clean. Your classmates and colleagues are one of them, because they cheer you up and support you while you carry out your duty as part of a society. So treat them well, try to understand their struggles, so you may a part of this wonderful big family. The greatness of a leader is always by his team. In other words, you will only be great if others allow you to be. There are people who always ask why do others keep interfering with his pursue of happiness. Well, the answer can be simple and cruel at times: maybe they haven’t allow others the reason to help him, thus voiding themselves the room for growth. Caring and respect comes both ways my son, remember that. Never demand respect from others, it has to be earned, usually by you respecting others first. I have never seen anyone asked others to respect him and gotten what he wants, you can take my word for it.
So when you got tired of bowing down, being humble to others, come back home. I’m sure your mom and me, even when I won’t admit in front of you, that we will be happy to hear you boast about your greatness and your ambitious thoughts, as long as you live by your words to continue to be humble to others.
Welcome to this wonderful world and this ordinary family my sons. I hope you can keep up, because I’m not stopping, not yet.
Dr Vie Cheong Thong M.D. 